In reading Julia Child’s memoir, My Life in France, I have been consistently surprised and delighted to share in her unique and fresh perspective on the world around her. She was open to experience and lived for adventure; of course, we all have a rosy glow when reminiscing about the past, but in her retelling, the reader is transported to the streets of Paris, the fish markets of Marseilles, the countryside spotted with orange flowers, all tied together by mouthwatering descriptions of French food and wine.
Paul Child, Julia’s husband, worked in government service for many years, beginning before World War II and continuing in various embassy posts (which is how they ended up living in Paris in the first place).
the best picture, in my opinion. this is what marital bliss is like.
He was serving the US Government in the Marseilles post during the era of Senator Joe McCarthy, most known for his 1950s communist witch hunts. At one point, Paul was called to Washington, DC to be interrogated by the McCarthy commission; Julia recounts how the feeling of betrayal and anger remained with them “like ashes in our mouths.”
Making my bed (okay, laying in my bed) after reading this passage, I caught myself thinking “the government always screws you.” This is both somewhat correct and wildly inaccurate.
(there is swearing and consent stuff in here, fair warning)
This is the first google result for “metal thumbs up.” Nailed it!
Okay, so I’m back, after a brief sojourn dealing with a broken foot (pro tip: don’t break your foot). Throughout my convalescence, I have been exploring the world of chair and wheelchair aerobics (you have no idea how much stuff is on YouTube until you are stuck at home for three weeks). However, I have been cheating on the music, using my iPod instead of the video music (let’s be honest, it’s mostly generic techno anyways).
While doing Pilates Sit Ups (they are terrible), I was roasting a track by Attila, called Payback. Here it is, in all its aggressive glory:
We’ve discussed problematic messages in metal and hardcore before, but I wanted to single out this song for one reason. I only have one remaining friend from high school, and our sisters are also the same age. She was telling me (years ago, I believe) that her sister would blast “Payback” whenever she was having a bad day, or feeling particularly angry. I went on to listen closely to the song myself, having had my share of teenage angst in my day, and WHOA. Whoa.
See, look at these guys. Come on.
I won’t reproduce the lyrics all here (here’s a link, should you want to peruse them), but this song dovetails beautifully with ideas about consent.
For those of you (us, really) who didn’t read all the lyrics, there’s an incredibly shocking verse, “I will find your fucking bitch and fuck her right in front of you.”
Later on in the song, he talks about how he can “tell she really wants it, she’s dripping wet and salivating.” Okay, again…is this a response of a woman tied down, trying to survive? Is it a bodily response disconnected from her mind (people can be aroused against their will)?
Also, using the word “bitch” to describe anything but a female dog is problematic, because it associates women with being weak, being mean, being irrational….not to mention its long association with sexual violence within the prison industrial complex. Another rapey layer for you.
My first instinct was a loud “WTF!” and reaching for the dial, but why turn it off when we can improve it? Here are some of my ideas for adding consent to these lyrics. Maybe we could turn this into a thing…
Attila’s “Payback”, formulated to respect consent/women (by Me)
Who the fuck are you?
Who the fuck do you think you are?!
You betrayed me this whole fucking time
I’m the baddest motherfucker in the building
So remember when it’s time for me to get my revenge
I will find your fucking bitch (or girlfriend, the woman you are currently having sexual relations with)
And fuck her, right in front of you (as long as she says yes and I am honest about my plans for our sexual congress)
Some people think that they can get away with murder
But everybody here can see the blood right on their hands
It’s a crazy fucking world and there’s no one left to trust you have to be careful who you trust
As people we have voices, leave the traitors in the dust
Revenge is something lethal and the taste is bittersweet Their punishment awaits, we’ll sweep their bitches off their feet! Living well is the best revenge
It’s ironic when she screams my name and begs for more
It’s really sick, I’ll hand it to you shes a great to be with CRAZY BITCH someone who very much enjoys and participates in sex
I like the way she rides this dick
I didn’t think I’d have to warn you (because we’re friends and friends talk through their issues)
You let it go too far again (because you trusted me to be an adult and handle my emotions constructively)
I thought you knew that I was crazy! (and thought I was taking care of my mental health in an adult fashion)
I let my actions speak loud
Tie her to the bed and let a minute get ahead (after I ask for her enthusiastic consent to bondage)
So I can get a better look and let her settle in the thought of it- (and ensure she is enjoying her sexual activity)
I can tell she really wants it I can see her dripping wet and
Salivating at the though of it (and she says yes, I am into this)
Tie her to the bed and let a minute get ahead (after we set a strong safeword and discuss mutually agreeable boundaries)
So I can get a better look and let her settle in the thought of it-
I can tell she really wants it I can see her dripping wet and
Salivating at the thought of it (and she says yes, I am into this)
So let me speak, answer me-
WHO THE FUCK ARE YOU
You walk around with your nose up in the air
But you can’t smell the shit that comes out of your mouth
You’re a liar, you’re a bitch someone I don’t trust, and you’re a fake
WHO THE FUCK DO YOU THINK YOU ARE
I’ve spent my precious time dealing with your problems
And payback is a bitch the worst
What goes around comes around my friend
And you will soon realize it!
theshamedynamic 