Posts Tagged ‘rape culture’

(there is swearing and consent stuff in here, fair warning)

This is the first google result for “metal thumbs up.” Nailed it!

Okay, so I’m back, after a brief sojourn dealing with a broken foot (pro tip: don’t break your foot). Throughout my convalescence, I have been exploring the world of chair and wheelchair aerobics (you have no idea how much stuff is on YouTube until you are stuck at home for three weeks). However, I have been cheating on the music, using my iPod instead of the video music (let’s be honest, it’s mostly generic techno anyways).

While doing Pilates Sit Ups (they are terrible), I was roasting a track by Attila, called Payback. Here it is, in all its aggressive glory:

We’ve discussed problematic messages in metal and hardcore before, but I wanted to single out this song for one reason. I only have one remaining friend from high school, and our sisters are also the same age. She was telling me (years ago, I believe) that her sister would blast “Payback” whenever she was having a bad day, or feeling particularly angry. I went on to listen closely to the song myself, having had my share of teenage angst in my day, and WHOA. Whoa.

See, look at these guys. Come on.

I won’t reproduce the lyrics all here (here’s a link, should you want to peruse them), but this song dovetails beautifully with ideas about consent.

For those of you (us, really) who didn’t read all the lyrics, there’s an incredibly shocking verse, “I will find your fucking bitch and fuck her right in front of you.”

Okay, fine.  Problem (the big one): using a woman as an object to hurt someone else, while totally discounting her thoughts/feelings/consent to the fucking.  What if she doesn’t want to fuck you?   Why is having sex a weapon you feel comfortable using?

Later on in the song, he talks about how he can “tell she really wants it, she’s dripping wet and salivating.”  Okay, again…is this a response of a woman tied down, trying to survive?  Is it a bodily response disconnected from her mind (people can be aroused against their will)?

Also, using the word “bitch” to describe anything but a female dog is problematic, because it associates women with being weak, being mean, being irrational….not to mention its long association with sexual violence within the prison industrial complex.  Another rapey layer for you.

My first instinct was a loud “WTF!” and reaching for the dial, but why turn it off when we can improve it? Here are some of my ideas for adding consent to these lyrics. Maybe we could turn this into a thing…

Attila’s “Payback”, formulated to respect consent/women (by Me)

Who the fuck are you?
Who the fuck do you think you are?!
You betrayed me this whole fucking time
I’m the baddest motherfucker in the building
So remember when it’s time for me to get my revenge
I will find your fucking bitch (or girlfriend, the woman you are currently having sexual relations with)
And fuck her, right in front of you (as long as she says yes and I am honest about my plans for our sexual congress)

Some people think that they can get away with murder
But everybody here can see the blood right on their hands
It’s a crazy fucking world and there’s no one left to trust  you have to be careful who you trust
As people we have voices, leave the traitors in the dust
Revenge is something lethal and the taste is bittersweet
Their punishment awaits, we’ll sweep their bitches off their feet!  Living well is the best revenge

It’s ironic when she screams my name and begs for more
It’s really sick, I’ll hand it to you shes a great to be with
CRAZY BITCH someone who very much enjoys and participates in sex
I like the way she rides this dick

I didn’t think I’d have to warn you (because we’re friends and friends talk through their issues)
You let it go too far again (because you trusted me to be an adult and handle my emotions constructively)
I thought you knew that I was crazy!  (and thought I was taking care of my mental health in an adult fashion)
I let my actions speak loud

Tie her to the bed and let a minute get ahead (after I ask for her enthusiastic consent to bondage)
So I can get a better look and let her settle in the thought of it- (and ensure she is enjoying her sexual activity)
I can tell she really wants it I can see her dripping wet and
Salivating at the though of it (and she says yes, I am into this)
Tie her to the bed and let a minute get ahead (after we set a strong safeword and discuss mutually agreeable boundaries)
So I can get a better look and let her settle in the thought of it-
I can tell she really wants it I can see her dripping wet and
Salivating at the thought of it (and she says yes, I am into this)

So let me speak, answer me-
WHO THE FUCK ARE YOU

You walk around with your nose up in the air
But you can’t smell the shit that comes out of your mouth
You’re a liar, you’re a bitch someone I don’t trust, and you’re a fake
WHO THE FUCK DO YOU THINK YOU ARE

I’ve spent my precious time dealing with your problems
And payback is a bitch the worst
What goes around comes around my friend
And you will soon realize it!

PAYBACK IS A BITCH! THE WORST!

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😦

 

It used to be that if you didn’t listen to a band, it was generally because their music sucked.

I’m getting really tired of not being able to listen to my favorite bands because the members are dickbags.

 

First, As I Lay Dying singer Tim Lambis hired a hit man to murder his wife.  Sucks, man. Not to mention the response on twitter, mostly focused on how she deserved it.

haha, his shirt says honour. this is what we call “irony.”

Then, Casualties singer Jorge Herrera was accused of sexual assault.

hunh. imagine that.

Now I’m hearing a guitarist in pop punk band New Found Glory was accused of lewd acts with a minor and had child porn.

this guy can’t get an adult woman into bed? the horror!

It’s been a hell of a year, and I’m sure it’s not only this year. In fact, I’m sure it’s not only these bands – these are just the ones who were caught, who were publicly caught, who couldn’t intimidate and settle out of court. But this is a manifestation of the culture we’ve been talking about for the longest. (One where the assault survivor has to write a piece stating her bodily integrity is worth more than a crappy punk band.  Really.)

see? at least an hour in the morning just for the hair.

Now, real talk – the Casualties are not that great. One of the people who first introduced me to skinhead oi told me they were the definition of poseurs, and asked me how long I thought it took for them to put all the studs in their jackets and do their Mohawks in the morning. I did enjoy me some tunes from On the Front Line, though.

New Found Glory was the soundtrack to my high school years (yes, I had terrible taste at 16. Shut up). I still pull out their self-titled CD when I’m feeling extra energized and need mindless tunes with the windows rolled down.

As I Lay Dying was one of the first metal bands I listened to and liked; I mean, come on – Distance is Darkness? The Darkest Nights? These are some excellent tunes. And they were great live – I paid some of my hard earned money to see them. And these dicks are talking about being a Christian band? The same ones who demean women and value the lives of their wives so little to hire someone to kill her, rather than getting a divorce or eating cold pot roast without complaint like normal people?

this fuckin’ guy

That’s the thing. I cannot support these groups that don’t place importance on people’s rights. Playing the guitar does not immunize you from being an asshole and doing terrible things, any more than dunking a basketball, running a pass or batting a strike does. It still takes me a little bit of rationalization to enjoy stuff from Attila (who talk about fucking bitches and removing the pussy from your life) or Leftover Crack (who glorify drug use and killing cops while being a strong voice against war and discrimination against LGBT folks).

I’m really tired of having to decide what music to enjoy based on who is the least terrible person. I’m tired of hearing 10 bands be crappy to women with only one yelling about treating people like people. I’m tired of going to shows where I only see one woman in lineups of 5 bands and all I hear about is her tits. If we can boycott baseball games because of assault charges, if we can fire Kobe for raping a woman, if we can impeach politicians for unconscionable conduct, surely we can find some good bands in this damn subculture of ours who can act like they care about the other 50% of human beings.

Step it up, bands. Step it up, fans. Don’t support music that demeans you. Don’t buy albums that recognize only dudes as awesome and worthy. Don’t go to shows where bands are known for taking minors backstage and doing whatever they want. This is our damn culture – we don’t have to buy into anything they’re selling us. At the end of the day, that’s the point.

this article was too good not to share.

my favorite quote:

What if it were seen as not just unacceptable, but also emasculating and           pathetic, to take an incoherently drunk girl up to your room, or to have sex with someone who was not fully and enthusiastically into it? If the social norm were that sex is not about “getting some” from women, but rather about having a great time with a partner who clearly desires you, most of the ability for campus rapists to operate would evaporate.

via @Feministing